Exploring Dialectics in Grandparent Grief: Communication with Family and Friends following the Death of a Grandchild

The following individuals read and discussed the thesis submitted by student Ashley Duchow-Moore, and they evaluated her presentation and response to questions during the final oral examination. They found that the student passed the final oral examination. v DEDICATION I dedicate this journey to my parents and family who have always supported me in my educational pursuits. From a very young age, my parents instilled in me the value of education and hard work. This culminating piece is simply a reflection of their unbounded love and encouragement through the years. I love and honor you both. To my participants, I thank you so much for your candor in sharing such an intimate and sorrowful part of your life. I am honored at your willingness to share your stories with me. vi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I extend a special thanks to Dr. Laurel Traynowicz who was been an invaluable mentor, educator, and ally throughout this process. Thank you to Dr. Heidi Reeder who over the years has encouraged my ardor for communication, through the passion she exudes in her teaching. To Dr. Denice Goodrich Liley; my gratitude for your willingness to take part in this thesis, thank you for sharing your wisdom, perspective, and positive attitude. And to Dr. Natalie Nelson-Marsh, thank you for pushing me and making my brain hurt in a good way; much of the reason for the genesis of this thesis was due to your support. Thank you to all the Communication Department faculty and staff who have been so positive and helpful in this experience. To my close and dear friends who have supported me and kept me grounded in this process, I couldn " t have done it without you all. Thank you. vii ABSTRACT A relational dialectics perspective was adopted for this study in order to better understand the tensions and contradictions bereaved grandparents experience following the death of a grandchild. The interviews of eleven grandmothers and five grandfathers were analyzed using a qualitative/interpretive method, leading to implications regarding the nature of grandparent grief. Grandparents experienced tensions in their own grief and in their multiple roles within the family structure after a grandchild died. Grandparents expressed contradictions in their role as a stable supporter versus griever, as well as balancing the need for protection and privacy. Grandparents negotiated these tensions through conscious communicative choices such as monitoring self disclosure or grieving privately. The opportunity for grandparents …